Lessons Learned 2

In the days/weeks/months following our first big extended family vacation, TTDad and I came up with a dozen things we did well, and a dozen (plus) things we should have done differently.

We’d like to take an opportunity to share these with you, in the hopes that you can benefit from both our good decisions, and our mistakes!

-Play (aka Safe) Room.  We were able to block off one room to use as the duo’s (and their cousin’s) play room.  Not only did it mean we had only one room to worry about ‘proofing’ but it also kept their toys in one place, allowing for the adults to have the rest of the house as their own.  Considering we had multiple people who were attempting to get some work done while there, this was a huge bonus.  Highly recommend this if at all possible.

Exploring their ‘safe’ room

-Taking Shifts.  TTDad and I were able to work out a ‘shift’ schedule, allowing each of us a little ‘me’ time to be off-duty.  Vacation is synonymous to sleeping in, for me.  Each morning, when the kids woke up, I’d nurse them, and then TTDad would take them for a run on the nearby Rail Trail.   It was delightful to have that quiet time in the morning, to get a little extra sleep, read, or actually discuss adult things with other adult humans.  Once they were back, I’d take the kids, allowing TTDad to take a few minutes to himself.  This worked out so well, we try to do it on weekends when we’re home, too!

-Favorites.  As mentioned, we found it really useful to find a few things the children loved, and try to fit at least one of those in each day. Not only did it keep them happy, but it was also a nice break to know what to expect at each of these places.  We knew they would have fun, we knew how to keep them safe and happy, and we knew how to best maneuver the duo and their loads of stuff.

-Be Flexible.  As much as we try to predict their behavior patterns, or routines, sometimes you just have to be flexible.  Follow their cues as much as possible, and you can avoid some major meltdowns.  Sometimes that means you may miss out on the one dinner you were really hoping to get to enjoy…  Sometimes it means staying in when everyone else is going out.  I’m not going to say that we were thrilled about every decision made- but we tried to remember that this was one summer.  Next year it will be a completely different story.  Plus-  it’s way better to be home, wishing you were out enjoying the night, than to be out, not enjoying the night because you are busy trying to avoid stares from strangers because you are the one with the screaming babies.  You think twins get extra attention?  Try screaming twins!

-Accept HELP.  We were very lucky to have two grandparents, two uncles, and an aunt vacationing with us, who were all willing to help us in any way possible.  We were lucky, yes… but the duo is even luckier to have these amazing people in their life.  It is so wonderful that these two will grow up with their cousins, and be so close to their aunt and uncles.  They have wonderful aunts and uncles, cousins, and grandparents on their father’s side as well.  TTDad and I are never at a loss for a helping hand when we’re with family.  But even with all of that, my first instinct is to take care of them on my own.  I have learned, however, to accept their help.

The tricky part for me isn’t that I don’t trust people to watch the kids, or that I don’t think they are capable of taking very good care of them… it’s that I feel like it’s really asking a lot of anyone to step in and handle two babies- even my perfect little ones!

We got over it, though.  In doing so, we were able to enjoy this vacation together, and apart, much more so than we would have.  We were able to continue a tradition (just slightly differently than ever before) that we’ve relished for 7 years now.  I imagine there will be plenty more in our future, and eventually, we’ll be able to include them in our PMC weekend, but we have plenty to learn before we get there!