As you can probably gather from reading our blog, it took us (me, TT Mom), quite a while to feel human again after our beautiful bouncing babies came along.
My life very much revolved around those two little monkeys, and to an extent, it still does. It wasn’t too long after their first birthday that I realized I could benefit from expanding my social circle.
When I was pregnant with the twins, I spent quite a bit of time online doing ‘research.’ I prepared as well as I could. I read twin mom blogs, I found twin mom clubs, and I read sleep guides, feeding guides, milestone guides.
The one thing I hadn’t been able to prepare for was the feeling that their (or my) world would collapse if I left them in anyone else’s care, even TT Dad’s care! This manifested in my inability to return to work- I simply couldn’t handle the thought that they would survive without me for a full day. My brain knew they would, but my heart wouldn’t let me be rational.
It took a long while, but eventually, I was able to conquer my fears, and schedule a hair appointment. Baby steps, remember?
We all survived. Success.
The real test was bedtime. Bedtime had always been a two-person job. I nursed them to sleep, and then they would need to be transferred to their cribs, in stealth mode. This is nearly impossible to do alone, so that meant four hands on deck every night- and two had to be mine, since they were nursing to sleep (and refused bottles- partially responsible for my fears involving leaving them!)
When we made the change to have them put to bed awake, so many doors opened. Suddenly, I could join my old co-workers for happy hour. I could go out to dinner with a friend. I certainly enjoyed this new freedom, but TT Dad enjoyed it as well. He cherished (still does) this Daddy & Duo time.
On a whim, I looked up the twin mom club (Greater Bristol Moms of Multiples) in a nearby town. I contacted the club, and decided to go to the next meeting.
What a wonderful experience.
That one little decision, to give this club a try, was easily one of the best decisions I’ve made since the duo arrived.
I love my online mom group. They are supportive, and kind, and real. They are accepting, but also challenge me to be the best me possible. But there is just something special about being in a room of moms who get it. They all have twins. I don’t have to explain why it takes me 45 minutes to get everyone out of the house. I don’t have to explain that there is no ‘popping into the store’ in my world. They get it.
Recently, I made another brave decision. I attended another meeting of moms that I had heard about. The Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPs). This one is special because it’s two mornings a month, and childcare is provided.
Yes. My kids get to play with a small group of children their own age, and I get to be me with other moms in my ‘season of life’, as they say.
I have only made it to one meeting so far, but I am so glad I did.
Tips for the day..
Reach out. Momming isn’t easy. Momming twins is harder. Stay at home momming is even harder. It can be lonely, and most likely is a huge adjustment for you.
But you are not alone.
These groups may not be right for you, and that’s okay. Find one that is. Keep trying. Check out meetup.com. Sign up for story time, or music class, or whatever other group you will enjoy.
You don’t have to do this alone. Finding a friend, a group, a family.. people who understand. So important.
You are not alone.